Many friends have e-mailed me asking how I got through this and what have I learned from posting every day. I will admit I had a thought process when I got on the Proton Beam table every day.
I just ran through some simple numbers once that nasty mask was snapped on:
1. Ready? Positive mindset to get through the day and to be curious about every part of it (ie: I learned the last day that the brass aperture weighed 8 lbs. and it will be recycled for another patient)
2. What Number? Proton Beam & Chemo # as well as countdown to how many were left
3. Like a Rock – where Barb = Rock (and Bob’s Seger’s song running through my head where my friend Steve shared the song multiple times)
4. I trust you Jesus – strong faith as I’m in God’s hands- followed by an Our Farther and a few Hail Mary’s
5- What will I blog about? – Then I would just start thinking and thinking and thinking until my treatment was done. Then I got back to the apartment in Cambridge, journaled some thoughts and started writing what ever was on my mind. Now you can see why there were no major themes (other than Barb is my Rock) or why I was all over the map. What ever I though of was written and shared.
I did have a few goals in mind:
1. I wanted my children to know two very important things:
a) that the greatest gift I can give to them is to constantly demonstrate how much I love their mother. (aka the Rock) I know they know but sometimes reminders are a good thing!
b) to have the courage to persevere with a positive mental headset when adversity hits. I had many rough days but did my best to find the silver linings as that got me through it!
2. I wanted my family and friends to see a vulnerable, unselfish, caring and authentic side of my thoughts and feelings about life as I journeyed through this intense medical challenge. (aka the soft side VUCA which I wrote about)
3. And through all of this if just one person learned one thing and found one way to be just a little bit better from something I wrote, then that would be a successful journey. I received some incredibly beautiful notes so I continued posting.
In closing…I said in an earlier post that I will look back at all of this in a few months and say it was a Blip. Then it came to me…that BLIP = Bob’s Life Is Positive! My blood type is B+. And now it all makes sense!
I hope you enjoyed the posts. I enjoyed writing them and look forward to many great years ahead of love, caring and inspiration with an incredible family and outstanding village of friends.
So humbly and gratefully yours,